Throwback Thursday - When Faith Feels Like a House of Cards…

Have you ever felt like your faith was built on a delicate balance, one question away from collapse? If so, you are not alone. Many people find themselves at a crossroads, wondering if questioning their beliefs means losing them altogether. But what if faith deconstruction isn’t about destruction, but rather about seeking a faith that is more authentic, expansive, and life-giving? For “Throwback Thursday”, we’re going back to the beginning - all the way back to our pilot episode: “Raging Waters: Rocking the Boat without Drowning the Dialogue.”

Deconstruction is a journey, not a demolition…

For many, the word “deconstruction” can feel unsettling. It carries the weight of uncertainty and, at times, fear. If faith is the foundation of one’s life, the thought of taking it apart can seem like a risky endeavor. But deconstruction isn’t about tearing everything down to nothing—it’s about examining what’s there, keeping what is good, and allowing new growth where necessary.

Faith deconstruction often begins when core beliefs come into question. Maybe it’s a theological inconsistency that no longer makes sense, a painful experience with a religious institution, or encountering perspectives that challenge long-held assumptions. For some, it feels like their faith is a house of cards—one challenging question or difficult experience threatens to bring it all crashing down.

However, rather than seeing this as a crisis to avoid, deconstruction can be a profound invitation. It can be a process of rebuilding faith on a foundation that is more resilient, compassionate, and true to one’s lived experience. As Ricardo expressed in the episode, he initially feared he was losing his faith but later realized that he was shedding beliefs that no longer served him.

One of the most painful aspects of faith deconstruction is the sense of loss. Whether it’s losing certainty, a religious community, or the comfort of clear-cut answers, deconstruction can feel like an unraveling. Joanne described her struggle in reconciling her evolving beliefs with the teachings she had grown up with, acknowledging the emotional weight of that shift.

This grief is real and valid. The stories and frameworks that once made sense may no longer fit, and that loss can be deeply personal. It’s okay to mourn what was while also making space for what could be.

At the same time, deconstruction is not just about loss—it’s also about discovery. Many who go through this process find a faith that is more expansive, more rooted in love, and more aligned with their deepest convictions. Joanne shared how, despite the difficulty, she ultimately found a more authentic expression of spirituality that resonated deeply with her.

One of the biggest misconceptions about deconstruction is that it inevitably leads to abandoning faith altogether. While that may be true for some, for many, deconstruction is about deepening faith rather than discarding it. It’s about moving beyond rigid dogma and embracing a God who is bigger than any single doctrine or institution.

Bill reflected on how his own deconstruction journey reshaped his understanding of faith. He shared that he once equated faith with having definitive answers, but now sees it as the courage to embrace uncertainty and ask difficult questions. This shift, he explained, has allowed him to engage with his spirituality in a more personal and meaningful way.

Expansive faith doesn’t mean believing less—it often means believing more deeply, with a greater capacity for mystery, compassion, and justice. It moves beyond fear-based religion into a spirituality that embraces doubt as part of the journey rather than something to be feared.

Key Takeaways from Episode One: Raging Waters

Throughout the first episode of Prepared to Drown, we highlighted several key insights from our own experiences:

Doubt is not the enemy of faith—rigid certainty is. Many religious traditions have treated doubt as dangerous, but doubt is often the catalyst for a deeper, more meaningful faith. Ricardo emphasized that questioning isn’t a sign of weak faith, but rather an indication of an evolving and engaged spirituality.

Community matters in deconstruction. The process of questioning and re-examining faith can be isolating. Joanne spoke about the importance of finding others who were also on this journey, stating that knowing she wasn’t alone provided significant comfort and reassurance.

Faith that is rigid breaks; faith that is flexible endures. Bill noted that his faith became more sustainable when he allowed it to change rather than clinging to absolutes. He described how embracing growth and mystery ultimately strengthened his relationship with faith rather than weakening it.

Love is the foundation of meaningful faith. The three hosts all agreed that, at the end of the day, faith should be about love—love for God, love for others, and love for oneself. When doctrines and dogmas fail, love remains the most steadfast guiding force.

Deconstruction can be painful, but it is not the end of the story. Many who go through this journey find themselves with a faith that is more compassionate, more expansive, and more life-giving than before. It may look different than what they once knew, but that doesn’t mean it’s any less real.

If you’re in the midst of faith deconstruction, know that you are not alone. You are not broken, and your questions are not a sign of failure. Instead, they are an invitation—an invitation to seek, to wrestle, and to discover a spirituality that resonates with the deepest parts of who you are.

As “Raging Waters” reminds us, deconstruction is not about tearing down for the sake of destruction. It is about making space for something truer, something freer, something more whole. It is about finding a faith that is not a fragile house of cards, but a shelter that can withstand the winds of life and still stand firm in love.